On Saturday I bought a kentia palm for my home. I know it's a kentia palm because I just looked at the label on the side of the pot. I bought it because it is an indoor plant; because it fit my image of what should go in that spot; and because OSH has a plant guarantee, and since I kill plants I'm going to need that.
Owning this plant is freaking me out. I don't own plants. I buy kitty grass for Sophie, she chews it, it dies, and I throw it out. I buy cut flowers. I don't remember the last plant I owned.
A plant is a live thing I need to care for. But it's not like having a cat. Most people would think that it would be harder to take care of a mammal because the stakes are higher. But it's easier when the thing interacts with you. I have no problem feeding a cat regularly and keeping the litter box clean and taking her to the vet when necessary. If I forget to feed Sophie, she sits on my lap and makes sure I don't do anything without thinking of her first.
It's not like having a person. With dating and relationships, you know when date night is. There's a routine. And if needs aren't being met, you can talk about it and sort it out. (Or not. But at least you can interact.)
A plant just sits there. It has fragility and needs to be maintained. It needs to be kept alive, but it doesn't tell you what it needs. How am I supposed to make this work?
I think I'm supposed to buy it a new pot. Something pretty. And I'm supposed to water it. It gets sunlight -- I'm pretty sure it's grown since I brought it home.
It might help to name it. I'm stuck on a name, though. I don't want to gender the plant: do I want a male plant or a female plant? I am not particularly enamored of having to water Bob.
And maybe I should have date night with it. Meaning, on Saturday nights I make sure it is watered.
I look at it and think, "So pretty." And then I think, "What am I supposed to do now?"